Zadig: Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The JUDGMENTS.

Young as _Zadig_ was, he was constituted chief Judge of all the
Tribunals throughout the Empire. He fill'd the Place, like one, whom
the Gods had endow'd with the strictest Justice, and the most solid
Wisdom. It was to him, the Nations round about were indebted for
that generous Maxim; _that 'tis much more Prudence to acquit two
Persons, tho' actually guilty, than to pass Sentence of Condemnation
in one that is virtuous and innocent_. It was his firm Opinion, that
the Laws were intended to be a Praise to those who did well, as much
as to be a Terror to Evildoers. It was his peculiar Talent to render
Truth as obvious as possible: Whereas most Men study to render it
intricate and obscure. On the very first Day of his Entrance into
his High Office, he exerted this peculiar Talent. A rich Merchant,
and a Native of _Babylon_, died in the _Indies_. He had made his
Will, and appointed his two Sons Joint-Heirs of his Estate, as soon
as they had settled their Sister, and married her with their mutual
Approbation. Moreover, he left a specific Legacy of 30,000 Pieces of
Gold to that Son, who should, after his Decease, be prov'd to love
him best. The Eldest erected to his Memory a very costly Monument:
The Youngest appropriated a considerable Part of his Bequest to the
Augmentation of his Sister's Fortune: Every one, without Hesitation,
gave the Preference to the Elder, allowing the Younger to have the
greatest Affection for his Sister. The Legacy therefore was
doubtless due to the Eldest.

Their Cause came before _Zadig_, and he examin'd them apart. To the
former, said _Zadig_, Your Father, Sir, is not dead, as is reported,
but being happily recover'd, is on his Return to _Babylon_. God be
praised, said the young Man! but I hope the Expence I have been at
in raising this superb Monument will be consider'd. After this,
_Zadig_ repeated the same Story to the Younger. God be praised, said
he! I will immediately restore all that he has left me; but I hope
my Father will not recal the little Present I have made my Sister.
You have nothing to restore, Sir; you shall have the Legacy of the
thirty thousand Pieces; for 'tis you that have the greatest
Veneration for your deceased Father.

A young Lady that was very rich, had entred into a Marriage-Contract
with two _Magis_; and having receiv'd Instructions from both Parties
for some Months, she prov'd with Child. They were both ready and
willing to marry her. But, said she, he shall be my Husband, that
has put me into a Capacity of serving my Country, by adding one to
it. 'Tis I, Madam, that have answered that valuable End, said one;
but the other insisted 'twas his Operation. Well! said she, since
this is a Moot-point, I'll acknowledge him for the Father of the
Child, that will give him the most liberal Education. In a short
Time after, my Lady was brought to Bed of a hopeful Boy. Each of
them insisted on being Tutor, and the Cause was brought before
_Zadig_. The two Magi were order'd to appear in Court. Pray Sir,
said _Zadig_ to the first, what Method of Instruction do you propose
to pursue for the Improvement of your young Pupil? He shall first be
grounded, said this learned Pedagogue, in the Eight Parts of Speech;
then I'll teach him Logic, Astrology, Magick, the wide Difference
between the Terms Substance and Accident, Abstract and Concrete,
_&c. &c._ As for my Part, Sir, I shall take another Course, said the
second; I'll do my utmost to make him an honest Man, and acceptable
to his Friends. Upon this, _Zadig_ said, you, Sir, shall marry the
Mother, let who will be the Father.

There came daily Complaints to Court against the _Itimadoulet_ of
_Media_, whose Name was _Irax_. He was a Person of Quality, who was
possess'd of a very considerable Estate, notwithstanding he had
squander'd away a great Part of it, by indulging himself in all
Manner of expensive Pleasures. It was but seldom that an Inferior
was suffer'd to speak to him; but not a Soul durst contradict him:
No Peacock was more gay; no Turtle more amorous; and no Tortoise
more indolent and inactive. He made false Glory and false Pleasures
his sole Pursuit.

_Zadig_, undertaking to cure him, sent him forthwith, as by express
Order from the King, a Musick-Master with twelve Voices, and 24
Violins, as his Attendants; a Head Steward, with six Men Cooks, and
4 Chamberlains, who were never to be out of his Sight. The King
issued out his Writ for the punctual Observance of his Royal Will;
and thus the Affair proceeded.

The first Morning, as soon as the voluptuous _Irax_ had open'd his
Eyes, his Musick-Master, with the Voices and Violins, entred his
Apartment. They sang a Cantata, that lasted two Hours and three
Minutes. Every three Minutes the Chorus, or Burthen of the Song, was
to this Effect.

    Tisn't in Words to speak your Praise;
      What mighty Honours are your Due!
     To worth like yours we Altars raise,
      No Monarch's happier, Sir, than you.

After the Cantata was over, the Chamberlain address'd him in a
formal Harangue for three Quarters of an Hour without ceasing;
wherein he took Occasion to extol every Virtue to which he was a
perfect Stranger; when the Oration was over, he was conducted to
Dinner, where the Musicians were all in waiting, and play'd, as soon
as he was seated at his Table. Dinner lasted three Hours before he
condescended to speak a Word. When he did; you say Right, Sir, said
the chief Chamberlain; scarce had he utter'd four Words more, but
Right, Sir, said the second. The other two Chamberlain's Time was
taken up in laughing with Admiration at _Irax's_ Smart Repartees, or
at least such as he ought to have made. After the Cloth was taken
away, the adulating Chorus was repeated.

This first Day _Irax_ was all in Raptures; he imagin'd, that this
Honour done him by the King of Kings, was the sole Result of his
exalted Merit. The second wasn't altogether so agreeable; The third
prov'd somewhat troublesome; the fourth insupportable; the fifth was
tormenting; and at last, he was perfectly outrageous at the
continual Peal in his Ears of No Monarch's happier Sir, than you,
You say right, _&c._ and at being daily harangu'd at the same Hour.
Whereupon he wrote to Court, and begg'd of his Majesty to recal his
Chamberlain, his Musick-Master, and all his Retinue, his Head
Steward and his Cooks, and promis'd, in the most submissive Manner,
to be less vain, and more industrious for the future. Tho' he didn't
require so much Adulations, nor such grand Entertainments, he was
much more happy; for, as _Sadder_ has it, _One continued Scene of
Pleasure, is no Pleasure at all_.

_Zadig_ every Day gave incontestable Proofs of his wondrous
Penetration, and the Goodness of his Heart; he was ador'd by the
People, and was the Darling of the King. The little Difficulties
that he met with in the first Stage of his Life, serv'd only to
augment his present Felicity. Every Night, however, he had some
unlucky Dream or another, that gave him some Disturbance. One while,
he imagin'd himself extended on a Bed of wither'd Plants, amongst
which there were some that were sharp pointed, and made him very
restless and uneasy; another Time, he fancied himself repos'd on a
Bed of Roses, out of which rush'd a Serpent, that stung him to the
Heart with his envenom'd Tongue. Alas! said he, waking, I was one
while upon a Bed of hard and nauseous Plants, and just this Moment
repos'd on a Bed of Roses. But then the Serpent.--

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