The Fugitive and Other Poems: The Fugitive I

The Fugitive I

Darkly you sweep on, Eternal Fugitive, round whose bodiless rush stagnant
space frets into eddying bubbles of light.

Is your heart lost to the Lover calling you across his immeasurable
loneliness?

Is the aching urgency of your haste the sole reason why your tangled
tresses break into stormy riot and pearls of fire roll along your path as
from a broken necklace?

Your fleeting steps kiss the dust of this world into sweetness, sweeping
aside all waste; the storm centred with your dancing limbs shakes the
sacred shower of death over life and freshens her growth.

Should you in sudden weariness stop for a moment, the world would rumble
into a heap, an encumbrance, barring its own progress, and even the least
speck of dust would pierce the sky throughout its infinity with an
unbearable pressure.

My thoughts are quickened by this rhythm of unseen feet round which the
anklets of light are shaken.

They echo in the pulse of my heart, and through my blood surges the psalm
of the ancient sea.

I hear the thundering flood tumbling my life from world to world and form
to form, scattering my being in an endless spray of gifts, in sorrowings
and songs.

The tide runs high, the wind blows, the boat dances like thine own desire,
my heart!

Leave the hoard on the shore and sail over the unfathomed dark towards
limitless light.

We came hither together, friend, and now at the cross-roads I stop to bid
you farewell.

Your path is wide and straight before you, but my call comes up by ways
from the unknown.

I shall follow wind and cloud; I shall follow the stars to where day breaks
behind the hills; I shall follow lovers who, as they walk, twine their days
into a wreath on a single thread of song, "I love."

It was growing dark when I asked her, "What strange land have I come to?"

She only lowered her eyes, and the water gurgled in the throat of her jar,
as she walked away.

The trees hang vaguely over the bank, and the land appears as though it
already belonged to the past.

The water is dumb, the bamboos are darkly still, a wristlet tinkles against
the water-jar from down the lane.

Row no more, but fasten the boat to this tree,--for I love the look of this
land.

The evening star goes down behind the temple dome, and the pallor of the
marble landing haunts the dark water.

Belated wayfarers sigh; for light from hidden windows is splintered into
the darkness by intervening wayside trees and bushes. Still that wristlet
tinkles against the water-jar, and retreating steps rustle from down the
lane littered with leaves.

The night deepens, the palace towers loom spectre-like, and the town hums
wearily.

Row no more, but fasten the boat to a tree.

Let me seek rest in this strange land, dimly lying under the stars, where
darkness tingles with the tinkle of a wristlet knocking against a
water-jar.

O that I were stored with a secret, like unshed rain in summer clouds--a
secret, folded up in silence, that I could wander away with.

O that I had some one to whisper to, where slow waters lap under trees that
doze in the sun.

The hush this evening seems to expect a footfall, and you ask me for the
cause of my tears.

I cannot give a reason why I weep, for that is a secret still withheld from
me.

For once be careless, timid traveller, and utterly lose your way;
wide-awake though you are, be like broad daylight enticed by and netted in
mist.

Do not shun the garden of Lost Hearts waiting at the end of the wrong road,
where the grass is strewn with wrecked red flowers, and disconsolate water
heaves in the troubled sea.

Long have you watched over the store gathered by weary years. Let it be
stripped, with nothing remaining but the desolate triumph of losing all.

Two little bare feet flit over the ground, and seem to embody that
metaphor, "Flowers are the footprints of summer."

They lightly impress on the dust the chronicle of their adventure, to be
erased by a passing breeze.

Come, stray into my heart, you tender little feet, and leave the
everlasting print of songs on my dreamland path.

I am like the night to you, little flower.

I can only give you peace and a wakeful silence hidden in the dark.

When in the morning you open your eyes, I shall leave you to a world a-hum
with bees, and songful with birds.

My last gift to you will be a tear dropped into the depth of your youth; it
will make your smile all the sweeter, and bemist your outlook on the
pitiless mirth of day.

Do not stand before my window with those hungry eyes and beg for my secret.
It is but a tiny stone of glistening pain streaked with blood-red by
passion.

What gifts have you brought in both hands to fling before me in the dust?

I fear, if I accept, to create a debt that can never be paid even by the
loss of all I have.

Do not stand before my window with your youth and flowers to shame my
destitute life.

If I were living in the royal town of Ujjain, when Kalidas was the king's
poet, I should know some Malwa girl and fill my thoughts with the music of
her name. She would glance at me through the slanting shadow of her
eyelids, and allow her veil to catch in the jasmine as an excuse for
lingering near me.

This very thing happened in some past whose track is lost under time's dead
leaves.

The scholars fight to-day about dates that play hide-and-seek.

I do not break my heart dreaming over flown and vanished ages: but alas and
alas again, that those Malwa girls have followed them!

To what heaven, I wonder, have they carried in their flower-baskets those
days that tingled to the lyrics of the king's poet?

This morning, separation from those whom I was born too late to meet weighs
on and saddens my heart.

Yet April carries the same flowers with which they decked their hair, and
the same south breeze fluttered their veils as whispers over modern roses.

And, to tell the truth, joys are not lacking to this spring, though Kalidas
sing no more; and I know, if he can watch me from the Poets' Paradise, he
has reasons to be envious.

Be not concerned about her heart, my heart: leave it in the dark.

What if her beauty be of the figure and her smile merely of the face? Let
me take without question the simple meaning of her glances and be happy.

I care not if it be a web of delusion that her arms wind about me, for the
web itself is rich and rare, and the deceit can be smiled at and forgotten.

Be not concerned about her heart, my heart: be content if the music is
true, though the words are not to be believed; enjoy the grace that dances
like a lily on the rippling, deceiving surface, whatever may lie beneath.

Neither mother nor daughter are you, nor bride, Urvashi.[1] Woman you are,
to ravish the soul of Paradise.

[Footnote 1: The dancing girl of Paradise who rose from the sea.]

When weary-footed evening comes down to the folds whither the cattle have
returned, you never trim the house lamps nor walk to the bridal bed with a
tremulous heart and a wavering smile on your lips, glad that the dark hours
are so secret.

Like the dawn you are without veil, Urvashi, and without shame.

Who can imagine that aching overflow of splendour which created you!

You rose from the churned ocean on the first day of the first spring, with
the cup of life in your right hand and poison in your left. The monster
sea, lulled like an enchanted snake, laid down its thousand hoods at your
feet.

Your unblemished radiance rose from the foam, white and naked as a jasmine.

Were you ever small, timid or in bud, Urvashi, O Youth everlasting?

Did you sleep, cradled in the deep blue night where the strange light of
gems plays over coral, shells and moving creatures of dreamlike form, till
day revealed your awful fulness of bloom?

Adored are you of all men in all ages, Urvashi, O endless wonder!

The world throbs with youthful pain at the glance of your eyes, the ascetic
lays the fruit of his austerities at your feet, the songs of poets hum and
swarm round the perfume of your presence. Your feet, as in careless joy
they flit on, wound even the heart of the hollow wind with the tinkle of
golden bells.

When you dance before the gods, flinging orbits of novel rhythm into space,
Urvashi, the earth shivers, leaf and grass, and autumn fields heave and
sway; the sea surges into a frenzy of rhyming waves; the stars drop into
the sky--beads from the chain that leaps till it breaks on your breast; and
the blood dances in men's hearts with sudden turmoil.

You are the first break on the crest of heaven's slumber, Urvashi, you
thrill the air with unrest. The world bathes your limbs in her tears; with
colour of her heart's blood are your feet red; lightly you poise on the
wave-tossed lotus of desire, Urvashi; you play forever in that limitless
mind wherein labours God's tumultuous dream.

You, like a rivulet swift and sinuous, laugh and dance, and your steps sing
as you trip along.

I, like a bank rugged and steep, stand speechless and stock-still and
darkly gaze at you.

I, like a big, foolish storm, of a sudden come rushing on and try to rend
my being and scatter it parcelled in a whirl of passion.

You, like the lightning's flash slender and keen, pierce the heart of the
turbulent darkness, to disappear in a vivid streak of laughter.

You desired my love and yet you did not love me.

Therefore my life clings to you like a chain of which clank and grip grow
harsher the more you struggle to be free.

My despair has become your deadly companion, clutching at the faintest of
your favours, trying to drag you away into the cavern of tears.

You have shattered my freedom, and with its wreck built your own prison.

I am glad you will not wait for me with that lingering pity in your look.

It is only the spell of the night and my farewell words, startled at their
own tune of despair, which bring these tears to my eyes. But day will dawn,
my eyes will dry and my heart; and there will be no time for weeping.

Who says it is hard to forget?

The mercy of death works at life's core, bringing it respite from its own
foolish persistence.

The stormy sea is lulled at last in its rocking cradle; the forest fire
falls to sleep on its bed of ashes.

You and I shall part, and the cleavage will be hidden under living grass
and flowers that laugh in the sun.

Of all days you have chosen this one to visit my garden.

But the storm passed over my roses last night and the grass is strewn with
torn leaves.

I do not know what has brought you, now that the hedges are laid low and
rills run in the walks; the prodigal wealth of spring is scattered and the
scent and song of yesterday are wrecked.

Yet stay a while; let me find some remnant flowers, though I doubt if your
skirt can be filled.

The time will be short, for the clouds thicken and here comes the rain
again!

I forgot myself for a moment, and I came.

But raise your eyes, and let me know if there still linger some shadow of
other days, like a pale cloud on the horizon that has been robbed of its
rain.

For a moment bear with me if I forget myself.

The roses are still in bud; they do not yet know how we neglect to gather
flowers this summer.

The morning star has the same palpitating hush; the early light is enmeshed
in the branches that overbrow your window, as in those other days.

That times are changed I forget for a little, and have come.

I forget if you ever shamed me by looking away when I bared my heart.

I only remember the words that stranded on the tremor of your lips; I
remember in your dark eyes sweeping shadows of passion, like the wings of a
home-seeking bird in the dusk.

I forget that you do not remember, and I come.

The rain fell fast. The river rushed and hissed. It licked up and swallowed
the island, while I waited alone on the lessening bank with my sheaves of
corn in a heap.

From the shadows of the opposite shore the boat crosses with a woman at the
helm.

I cry to her, "Come to my island coiled round with hungry water, and take
away my year's harvest."

She comes, and takes all that I have to the last grain; I ask her to take
me.

But she says, "No"--the boat is laden with my gift and no room is left for
me.

The evening beckons, and I would fain follow the travellers who sailed in
the last ferry of the ebb-tide to cross the dark.

Some were for home, some for the farther shore, yet all have ventured to
sail.

But I sit alone at the landing, having left my home and missed the boat:
summer is gone and my winter harvest is lost.

I wait for that love which gathers failures to sow them in tears on the
dark, that they may bear fruit when day rises anew.

On this side of the water there is no landing; the girls do not come here
to fetch water; the land along its edge is shaggy with stunted shrubs; a
noisy flock of saliks dig their nests in the steep bank under whose frown
the fisher-boats find no shelter.

You sit there on the unfrequented grass, and the morning wears on. Tell me
what you do on this bank so dry that it is agape with cracks?

She looks in my face and says, "Nothing, nothing whatsoever."

On this side of the river the bank is deserted, and no cattle come to
water. Only some stray goats from the village browse the scanty grass all
day, and the solitary water-hawk watches from an uprooted peepal aslant
over the mud.

You sit there alone in the miserly shade of a shimool, and the morning
wears on.

Tell me, for whom do you wait?

She looks in my face and says, "No one, no one at all!"

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