Kathleen: Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Perhaps the best way to pursue the next episodes in the quest is
in the words of Johnny Blair, the Rhodes Scholar, who jotted down
some notes in a journal he kept:

We got to Wolverhampton 12:25, Ingersoll time. Had a jolly trip
on the train, all the Scorps laying bets as to who would be first
to meet Kathleen. I lay low, but did some planning. Didn't want
to let these English blighters get ahead of me, especially after
all the ragging Indiana Joe got in the story.

Train stopped at Birmingham at noon. My tobacco pouch had run
empty, and I hopped out to buy some Murray's at the newsstand.
Saw the prettiest flapper of my life on the platform--the real
English type; tweed suit, dark hair, gray eyes, and cheeks like
almond blossoms. She had on a blue tam-o' shanter. Loveliest
figure I ever saw, perfect ankle, but the usual heavy brogues on
her feet. Why do English girls always wear woollen stockings? Was
so taken with her I almost missed the train. She got into a
third-class compartment farther up the train. The others were all
bickering in the smoking carriage, so they didn't see her.

I scored over the rest of the crowd when we got to Wolvers. They
had all brought heavy portmanteaus, containing all their vacation
baggage. My idea was, go light when chasing the Grail. Had only
my rucksack, left rest of my stuff at coll., to be forwarded
later. While the other chaps were getting their stuff out of the
goods van I spotted Miss Flapper getting off the train. She got
into a hansom. Just by dumb luck I was standing near. I heard her
say to cabby: "318, Bancroft Road!" Lord, was I tickled? I kept
mum.

Most of the fellows took cabs, on account of their luggage, but
Goblin and I hoofed it. Wolverhampton seems a dingy place for
Kathleen to live! Fine old church, though, and lovely market
place. We kept our eyes open for Bancroft Road, but saw no sign.

When we got to the Blue Boar, lunch was all ready for us in the
coffee room. Landlord tickled to death at our arrival. Wonderful
cheddar cheese, and archdeacon ale. We made quite a ceremony of
it--all drank Kathleen's health, and on the stroke of two we got
up from the table.

All the others beat it off immediately in different directions--
looking for Bancroft Road, I expect. I had an idea that more
finesse would be needed. I started off with the others, then
pretended I had left my pipe, and came back to the Boar. I was
going to look up the town directory, to find Kathleen's name--
knowing the address, that would be easy. But there was Goblin
doing the same thing! We both laughed and looked it up together.
The name at 318, Bancroft Road was Kent, Philip Kent, F.S.A.,
Fellow of the Society of Antiquaries, I suppose: the book put him
down as an "antiquarian." Kathleen's father, evidently.

Goblin disappeared in that noiseless way of his, and I lit a pipe
and pondered.

The fellows had been full of wild suggestions as to what they
would do when they got to 318, Bancroft Road. One was going to be
a book agent and get into the house that way. Another said he
would be the grocer's man and make friends with the cook. Someone
else suggested dressing up as a plumber or gas-man, and going
there to fix some imaginary leak. Knowing that the Kents were not
fools, I imagined it wouldn't be long before they'd get wise to
the fact that that bunch of dreadnoughts was picketing the house.
Probably they'd put the police on them. Also, there's nobody
harder to disguise than an English 'varsity man. He gives himself
away at every turn. If "Fred" was around he'd be sure to smell a
rat. One of those chaps would be likely to fake himself up as a
plumber, and get in the house on some pretext or other--still
wearing his wrist-watch!

I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to stay away from Bancroft
Road for a while and try to pull wires from a distance:

The Blue Boar Inn--a very nice old house, by the way--looks out
over the old Wolverhampton market place. In one corner of the
square I had noticed a little post office. You can send a
telegram from any post office in England, and I thought that
would be my best entering wedge. The word "antiquarian" in the
directory had given me a notion. On a blank I composed the
following message, after some revisions:

MISS KATHLEEN KENT,
318, Bancroft Road,
WOLVERHAMPTON.

My friend John Blair of Trinity now in Wolverhampton for
historical study staying at Blue Boar nice chap American may he
call on you if so send him a line sorry can't write hurt hand
playing soccer love to all.

JOE.

This was taking a long chance, but was the best move I could
think of. I asked the lady behind the counter to mark the
telegram as though it came from Oxford. She said she could not do
so, but I happened to have a five-bob piece in my pocket and that
persuaded her. I convinced her that it was a harmless joke.

I didn't see that there was anything further to be done
immediately. If the telegram brought no word I should have to
think up something else. In the meantime, if I was to pose as
an antiquarian investigator I had better get up some dope on
the history of Wolverhampton. I poked about until I found a
bookshop, where I bought a little pamphlet about the town,
and studied a map. Bancroft Road was out toward the northern
suburbs. A little talk with the bookseller brought me the
information that Mr. Kent was one of his best customers, a
pleasant and simple-minded gentleman of sixty whose only
hobby was the history of the region. He had written a book
called "Memorials of Old Staffordshire," but unfortunately I
couldn't get a copy. The bookseller said it was out of print.

Then I went to have a look at St. Philip's Church, a fine old
Norman pile with some lovely brasses and crusaders' tombs. Here I
had a piece of luck--fell in with the vicar. One of the jolly old
port-wine and knicker-bocker sort: an old Oxford man, as it
happened. I pumped him a little about the history of the church,
and in his delight at finding an American who cared for such
matters he talked freely. "Why," he kept on saying, with a kind
of pathetic enthusiasm, "I thought all you Americans were
interested in was Standard Oil and tinned beef." Finally he
invited me over to the vicarage for tea. As I sat by his fire and
ate toasted muffins I couldn't help chuckling to think how
different this was from the other Scorpions' plan of attack. They
were probably all biting their nails up and down Bancroft Road
trying to carry the fort by direct assault. It's amazing how
things turn out: just as I was wondering how to give the
conversation a twist in the right direction, the vicar said:

"If you're really interested in the history of this region you
should certainly have a talk with old Mr. Kent. He's our leading
antiquarian, and knows more about the Stour Valley than any one
else. He says there was a skirmish fought here in 1645 that all
the books have overlooked. The Battle of Wolverhampton, he calls
it. He wrote a little pamphlet about it once."

I assured the good parson that my eagerness to know more about
the Battle of Wolverhampton was unbounded. I nearly spilled my
tea in my excitement.

"Is that Mr. Kent of 318, Bancroft Road?" I asked.

"Yes," answered the vicar. "How did you know?"

"They told me about him at the bookshop."

I explained that I was in Wolverhampton for a day or so only, and
finally the excellent man came across with the suggestion I was
panting for.

"Well," he said, "as it happens, I have one or two calls to make
in that direction this evening. If you care to have me do so,
I'll speak to Mr. Kent about you, and he can make an appointment.
You said you were stopping at the Blue Boar?"

I thanked him with such warmth that his eyes twinkled.

"My dear fellow," he said, "your enthusiasm does you great
credit. I wish you all success in your thesis."

I got back to the Boar feeling that I had done a very good
afternoon's work indeed.

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