Mr. Meeson's Will: Chapter 19

Chapter 19

MEESON V. ADDISON AND ANOTHER.

The most wearisome times go by at last if only one lives to see the end
of them, and so it came to pass that at length on one fine morning about
a quarter to ten of the Law Courts' clock, that projects its ghastly
hideousness upon unoffending Fleet-street, Augusta, accompanied by
Eustace, Lady Holmhurst, and Mrs. Thomas, the wife of Captain Thomas, who
had come up from visiting her relatives in the Eastern counties in order
to give evidence, found herself standing in the big entrance to the new
Law Courts, feeling as though she would give five years of her life to be
anywhere else.

"This way, my dear," said Eustace; "Mr. John Short said that he would
meet us by the statue in the hall." Accordingly they passed into the
archway by the oak stand where the cause-lists are displayed. Augusta
glanced at them as she went, and the first thing that her eyes fell on
was "Probate and Divorce Division Court I., at 10.30, Meeson v. Addison
and Another," and the sight made her feel ill. In another moment they had
passed a policeman of gigantic size, "monstrum horrendum, informe,
ingens," who watches and wards the folding-doors through which so much
human learning, wretchedness, and worry pass day by day, and were
standing in the long, but narrow and ill-proportioned hall which appears
to have been the best thing that the architectural talent of the
nineteenth century was capable of producing.

To the right of the door on entering is a statue of the architect of a
pile of which England has certainly no cause to feel proud, and here, a
black bag full of papers in his hand, stood Mr. John Short, wearing that
air of excitement upon his countenance which is so commonly to be seen in
the law courts.

"Here you are," he said, "I was beginning to be afraid that you would be
late. We are first on the list, you know; the judge fixed it specially
to suit the convenience of the Attorney-General. He's on the other side,
you know," he added, with a sigh. "I'm sure I don't know how poor James
will get on. There are more than twenty counsel against him, for all the
legatees under the former will are represented. At any rate, he is well
up in his facts, and there does not seem to me to be very much law in
the case."

Meanwhile, they had been proceeding up the long hall till they came to a
poky little staircase which had just been dug out in the wall, the
necessity for a staircase at that end of the hall, whereby the court
floor could be reached having, to all appearance, originally escaped the
attention of the architect. On getting to the top of the staircase they
turned to the left and then to the left again. If they had had any doubt
as to which road they should take it would have been speedily decided by
the long string of wigs which were streaming away in the direction of
Divorce Court No. 1. Thicker and thicker grew the wigs; it was obvious
that the _cause c�l�bre_ of Meeson v. Addison and Another would not want
for hearers. Indeed, Augusta and her friends soon realised the intensity
of the public interest in a way that was as impressive as it was
disagreeable, for just past the Admiralty Court the passage was entirely
blocked by an enormous mass of barristers; there might have been five
hundred or more of them. There they were, choked up together in their
white-wigged ranks, waiting for the door of the court to be opened. At
present it was guarded by six or eight attendants, who, with the help of
a wooden barrier, attempted to keep the surging multitude at bay--while
those behind cried, "Forward!" and those in front cried "Back!"

"How on earth are we going to get through?" asked Augusta, and at
that moment Mr. John Short caught hold of an attendant who was
struggling about in the skirts of the crowd like a fly in a cup of
tea, and asked him the same question, explaining that their presence
was necessary to the show.

"I'm bothered if I know, Sir; you can't come this way. I suppose I must
let you through by the underground passage from the other court. Why," he
went on, as he led the way to the Admiralty Court, "hang me, if I don't
believe that we shall all be crushed to death by them there barristers:
It would take a regiment of cavalry to keep them back. And they are a
'ungry lot, they are; and they ain't no work to do, and that's why they
comes kicking and tearing and worriting just to see a bit of painting on
a young lady's shoulders."

By this time they had passed through the Admiralty Court, which was not
sitting, and been conducted down a sort of well, that terminated in the
space occupied by the Judge's clerks and other officers of the Court. In
another minute they found themselves emerging in a similar space in the
other court.

Before taking the seat that was pointed out to her and the other
witnesses in the well of the court, immediately below those reserved for
Queen's counsel, Augusta glanced round. The body of the court was as yet
quite empty, for the seething mob outside had not yet burst in, though
their repeated shouts of "Open the door!" could be plainly heard. But the
jury box was full, not with a jury, for the case was to be tried before
the Court itself, but of various distinguished individuals, including
several ladies, who had obtained orders. The little gallery above was
also crowded with smart-looking people. As for the seats devoted to
counsel in the cause, they were crammed to overflowing with the
representatives of the various defendants--so crammed, indeed, that the
wretched James Short, sole counsel for the plaintiff, had to establish
himself and his papers in the centre of the third bench sometimes used by
solicitors.

"Heavens!" said Eustace to Augusta, counting the heads; "there are
twenty-three counsel against us. What will that unfortunate James do
against so many?"

"I don't know, I'm sure," said Augusta, with a sigh. "It doesn't seem
quite fair, does it? But then, you see, there was no money."

Just then John Short came up. He had been to speak to his brother.
Augusta being a novelist, and therefore a professional student of human
physiognomy, was engaged in studying the legal types before her, which
she found resolved themselves into two classes--the sharp, keen-faced
class and the solid, heavy-jawed class.

"Who on earth are they all?" she asked.

"Oh," he said, "that's the Attorney-General. He appears with
Fiddlestick, Q.C., Pearl, and Bean for the defendant Addison. Next to him
is the Solicitor-General, who, with Playford, Q.C., Middlestone,
Blowhard, and Ross, is for the other defendant, Roscoe. Next to him is
Turphy, Q.C., with the spectacles on; he is supposed to have a great
effect on a jury. I don't know the name of his junior, but he looks as
though he were going to eat one--doesn't he? He is for one of the
legatees. That man behind is Stickon; he is for one of the legatees also.
I suppose that he finds probate and divorce an interesting subject,
because he is always writing books about them. Next to him is Howles,
who, my brother says, is the best comic actor in the court. The short
gentleman in the middle is Telly; he reports for the _Times_. You see, as
this is an important case, he has got somebody to help him to take
it--that long man with a big wig. He, by-the-way, writes novels, like you
do, only not half such good ones. The next"--but at this moment Mr. John
Short was interrupted by the approach of a rather good-looking man, who
wore an eye-glass continually fixed in his right eye. He was Mr. News, of
the great firm News and News, who were conducting the case on behalf of
the defendants.

"Mr. Short, I believe?" said Mr. News, contemplating his opponent's
youthful form with pity, not unmixed with compassion.

"Yes."

"Um, Mr. Short, I have been consulting with my clients and--um, the
Attorney and Solicitor-General and Mr. Fiddlestick, and we are quite
willing to admit that there are circumstances of doubt in this case
which would justify us in making an offer of settlement."

"Before I can enter into that, Mr. News," said John, with great dignity,
"I must request the presence of my counsel."

"Oh, certainly," said Mr. News, and accordingly James was summoned from
his elevated perch, where he was once more going through his notes and
the heads of his opening speech, although he already knew his
brief--which, to do it justice, had been prepared with extraordinary care
and elaboration--almost by heart, and next moment, for the first time in
his life, found himself in consultation with an Attorney and a
Solicitor-General.

"Look here, Short," said the first of these great men addressing James as
though he had known him intimately for years, though, as a matter of
fact, he had only that moment ascertained his name from Mr. Fiddlestick,
who was himself obliged to refer to Bean before he could be sure of
it--"look here, Short: don't you think that we can settle this business?
You've got a strongish case; but there are some ugly things against you,
as no doubt you know."

"I don't quite admit that," said James.

"Of course--of course," said Mr. Attorney; "but still, in my judgment, if
you will not be offended at my expressing it, you are not quite on firm
ground. Supposing, for instance, your young lady is not allowed to give
evidence?"

"I think," said a stout gentleman behind who wore upon his countenance
the very sweetest and most infantile smile that Eustace had ever seen,
breaking in rather hastily, as though he was afraid that his learned
leader was showing too much of his hand, "I think that the case is one
that, looked at from either point of view, will bear settlement better
than fighting--eh, Fiddlestick? But then, I'm a man of peace," and again
he smiled most seductively at James.

"What are your terms?" asked James.

The eminent counsel on the front bench turned round and stuck their wigs
together like a lot of white-headed crows over a bone, and the slightly
less eminent but still highly distinguished juniors on the second bench
craned forward to listen.

"They are going to settle it," Eustace heard the barrister who was
reporting for the _Times_ say to his long assistant.

"They always do settle every case of public interest," grunted the long
man in answer; "we shan't see Miss Smithers' shoulders now. Well, I shall
get an introduction to her, and ask her to show them to me. I take a
great interest in tattooing."

Meanwhile, Fiddlestick, Q.C., had been writing something on a strip of
paper and handed to his leader, the Attorney-General (who, Mr. James
Short saw with respectful admiration, had 500 guineas marked upon his
brief). He nodded carelessly, and passed it on to his junior, who gave it
in turn to the Solicitor-General and Playford, Q.C. When it had gone the
rounds, Mr. News took it and showed it to his two privileged clients,
Messrs. Addison and Roscoe. Addison was a choleric-looking, fat-faced
man. Roscoe was sallow, and had a thin, straggly black beard. When they
looked at it, Addison groaned fiercely as a wounded bull, and Roscoe
sighed, and that sigh and groan told Augusta--who, womanlike, had all her
wits about her, and was watching every act of the drama--more than it
was meant to do. It told her that these gentlemen were doing something
that they did not like, and doing it because they evidently believed that
they had no other course open to them. Then Mr. News gave the paper to
Mr. John Short, who glanced at it and handed it on to his brother, and
Eustace read it over his shoulder. It was very short, and ran
thus:--"Terms offered: Half the property, and defendants pay all costs."

"Well, Short," said Eustace, "what do you say, shall we take it?"

James removed his wig, and thoughtfully rubbed his bald head. "It is a
very difficult position to be put in," he said. "Of course a million is a
large sum of money; but there are two at stake. My own view is that we
had better fight the case out; though, of course, this is a certainty,
and the result of the case is not."

"I am inclined to settle," said Eustace; "not because of the case, for I
believe in it, but because of Augusta--of Miss Smithers: you see she will
have to show the tattooing again, and that sort of thing is very
unpleasant for a lady."

"Oh, as to that," said James loftily, "at present she must remember that
she is not a lady, but a legal document. However, let us ask her."

"Now, Augusta, what shall we do?" said Eustace, when he had explained the
offer; "you see, if we take the offer you will be spared a very
disagreeable time. You must make up your mind quick, for the Judge will
be here in a minute."

"Oh, never mind me," said Augusta, quickly; "I am used to disagreeables.
No, I shall fight, I tell you they are afraid of you. I can see it in
the face of that horrid Mr. Addison. Just now he positively glared at me
and ground his teeth, and he would not do that if he thought that he was
going to win. No, dear; I shall fight it out now."

"Very well," said Eustace, and he took a pencil and wrote, "Declined with
thanks," at the foot of the offer.

Just at that moment there came a dull roar from the passage beyond. The
doors of the court were being opened. Another second, and in rushed and
struggled a hideous sea of barristers. Heavens, how they fought and
kicked! A maddened herd of buffaloes could not have behaved more
desperately. On rushed the white wave of wigs, bearing the strong men who
hold the door before them like wreckage on a breaker. On they came and in
forty seconds the court was crowded to its utmost capacity, and still
there were hundreds of white wigged men behind. It was a fearful scene.

"Good gracious!" thought Augusta to herself, "how on earth do they all
get a living?" a question that many of them would have found it hard
enough to answer.

Then suddenly an old gentleman near her, whom she discovered to be the
usher, jumped up and called "Silence!" in commanding accents, without
producing much effect, however, on the palpitating mass of humanity in
front. Then in came the officers of the Court; and a moment afterwards,
everybody rose as the Judge entered, and, looking, as Augusta thought,
very cross when he saw the crowded condition of the court, bowed to the
bar and took his seat.

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